At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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