I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
my liver is dry heaving
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
