fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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