Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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