apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
