Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
