Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
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i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
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I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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