lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
