Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize