He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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