Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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