we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
