i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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