Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
