She is in my trunk
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
