Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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