i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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