I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
