Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
