i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
