Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
