Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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