did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
