i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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