How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
