maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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