Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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