Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
