The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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