I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
