I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
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