We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
