hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
