Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Alive.
So much puke
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
