we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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