So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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