Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
