He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
