So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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