I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
