Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
