Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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