Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
