he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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