does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
