My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
