if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Verdict: uncircumcised.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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