Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
