I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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