you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize