Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
