Too much gin, very little bucket
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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