apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
