I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
