I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
