i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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