i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize