3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
