I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
