it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
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the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
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Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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