just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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