just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
