He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
