My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
