you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize