he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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