i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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