Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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